Why denial is useful
When you cannot refuse something insignificant, you refuse the choice. As soon as we refuse to decide what to do, someone else chooses for us. Denying is even beneficial, and here's why.
1. To separate decisions from relationships
We do not say “no” so as not to worsen the attitude of other people towards us, although this can happen exactly when we say “yes” for the hundredth time. We can form a relation to us as to a person on whom we can parasitize, from which any agreement can be achieved. Moreover, always saying “yes”, we encourage other people's shortcomings and provoke their development.
2. To show professionalism, call respect
Effective rejection shows people that our time is very valuable. This distinguishes a professional from an amateur. Respect is caused by those people who know how to defend their interests, demonstrate firmness and independence. In the short-term social perspective, a respectful, reasonable, and graceful no can be costly. But in the long run, respect is far more valuable than popularity.
3. To avoid uncertainty
Words are better than silence. Anyone who has ever visited the other side’s place in such situations knows that the clear “I am going to refuse” is much better than the evasive “I could try”, when it is clear that in reality I could not. Indefinite does not mean elegant, and delaying the final refusal will only complicate everything, and the other side will be offended much more.
How to politely refuse
But categorical denial psychologically creates a wall of misunderstanding. The trick “no” is that it should sound more diplomatic, virtually without direct denial, and at the same time clearly. To consistently and politely answer “no,” use a wide variety of phrases and tricks. Here are some of them.
1. Use auto-responses in email and phone
To get an auto answer when someone is traveling, absent from the workplace, or simply very busy, is completely natural and expected. This is the most socially acceptable "no" of all possible. After all, you do not say that you do not want to answer a letter or a call, you just make it clear that you cannot answer within a certain period, and you have objective reasons for that. Another fact of distance at the post office reduces the fear of embarrassment.
2. “Let me check my schedule first”
If you don't say no, different people will take your time. At work, in business, the phrase “Let me check my schedule first” will help. This gives time to think and ultimately answer that nothing will work. Such a response allows you to regain control of your own decisions, instead of rashly agreeing to any request.
3. The soft “no, but”
You are invited by a friend for coffee, you have a blockage at work. Example response: “Right now I'm head over heels in the project. But I would like to meet as soon as I pass it. I’ll let you know when I’ll be released in the summer. ”
4. “Yes, what should I exclude from the priority tasks?” Or “Could you help me prioritize my work?”
To refuse a superior to many seems almost unthinkable, even ridiculous. One of the effective ways is to remind the boss what you have to neglect in case of consent, and give him the opportunity to make a decision on his own. Thus, the task can be delegated to another employee, or your current assignments will give way to it. In any case, you will agree on a plan of further actions, stop worrying and break into multiple tasks.
5. Partial failure
When you can carry out only part of the task, a diplomatic partial refusal may sound different:
"Please use X. And I'm ready to make Y." This is a great way to answer a request that you would like to satisfy only partially, without spending all your energy on it. This wording expresses respect for the choice and reminds both parties of their options.
“I can't do this, but X is probably interested.” If the request is such that it doesn’t matter who helps, if only it would help, this option is ideal.
“Can I suggest another idea?” Is a working phrase that expresses disagreement not to a specific person, but to the situation. One of the effective tips for arguing with a manager.
When to agree?
However, someone else’s work or request is not always necessary to refuse. There is no need to be obstinate when the success of the company or an emergency occurs on your work. In any case, if such requests are made extremely rarely.
Saying “no” is not just a skill, but an ability that can be developed. Work.ua wishes you to master the basic methods of failures as quickly as possible and gracefully cope with almost any request.
When you cannot refuse something insignificant, you refuse the choice. As soon as we refuse to decide what to do, someone else chooses for us. Denying is even beneficial, and here's why.
1. To separate decisions from relationships
We do not say “no” so as not to worsen the attitude of other people towards us, although this can happen exactly when we say “yes” for the hundredth time. We can form a relation to us as to a person on whom we can parasitize, from which any agreement can be achieved. Moreover, always saying “yes”, we encourage other people's shortcomings and provoke their development.
2. To show professionalism, call respect
Effective rejection shows people that our time is very valuable. This distinguishes a professional from an amateur. Respect is caused by those people who know how to defend their interests, demonstrate firmness and independence. In the short-term social perspective, a respectful, reasonable, and graceful no can be costly. But in the long run, respect is far more valuable than popularity.
3. To avoid uncertainty
Words are better than silence. Anyone who has ever visited the other side’s place in such situations knows that the clear “I am going to refuse” is much better than the evasive “I could try”, when it is clear that in reality I could not. Indefinite does not mean elegant, and delaying the final refusal will only complicate everything, and the other side will be offended much more.
How to politely refuse
But categorical denial psychologically creates a wall of misunderstanding. The trick “no” is that it should sound more diplomatic, virtually without direct denial, and at the same time clearly. To consistently and politely answer “no,” use a wide variety of phrases and tricks. Here are some of them.
1. Use auto-responses in email and phone
To get an auto answer when someone is traveling, absent from the workplace, or simply very busy, is completely natural and expected. This is the most socially acceptable "no" of all possible. After all, you do not say that you do not want to answer a letter or a call, you just make it clear that you cannot answer within a certain period, and you have objective reasons for that. Another fact of distance at the post office reduces the fear of embarrassment.
2. “Let me check my schedule first”
If you don't say no, different people will take your time. At work, in business, the phrase “Let me check my schedule first” will help. This gives time to think and ultimately answer that nothing will work. Such a response allows you to regain control of your own decisions, instead of rashly agreeing to any request.
3. The soft “no, but”
You are invited by a friend for coffee, you have a blockage at work. Example response: “Right now I'm head over heels in the project. But I would like to meet as soon as I pass it. I’ll let you know when I’ll be released in the summer. ”
4. “Yes, what should I exclude from the priority tasks?” Or “Could you help me prioritize my work?”
To refuse a superior to many seems almost unthinkable, even ridiculous. One of the effective ways is to remind the boss what you have to neglect in case of consent, and give him the opportunity to make a decision on his own. Thus, the task can be delegated to another employee, or your current assignments will give way to it. In any case, you will agree on a plan of further actions, stop worrying and break into multiple tasks.
5. Partial failure
When you can carry out only part of the task, a diplomatic partial refusal may sound different:
"Please use X. And I'm ready to make Y." This is a great way to answer a request that you would like to satisfy only partially, without spending all your energy on it. This wording expresses respect for the choice and reminds both parties of their options.
“I can't do this, but X is probably interested.” If the request is such that it doesn’t matter who helps, if only it would help, this option is ideal.
“Can I suggest another idea?” Is a working phrase that expresses disagreement not to a specific person, but to the situation. One of the effective tips for arguing with a manager.
When to agree?
However, someone else’s work or request is not always necessary to refuse. There is no need to be obstinate when the success of the company or an emergency occurs on your work. In any case, if such requests are made extremely rarely.
Saying “no” is not just a skill, but an ability that can be developed. Work.ua wishes you to master the basic methods of failures as quickly as possible and gracefully cope with almost any request.
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